


I’m Sorry To Bother You

by sugarasuno



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, I’m sorry, M/M, Post-Time Skip, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is short too but PAINFUL, hit a bit too close to home, i understand if you don’t enjoy this it’s so sad, this hurt to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29211816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarasuno/pseuds/sugarasuno
Summary: “Oh.” Oikawa muttered, feeling tears leave his eyes. When did he start crying? Why was he crying? They haven’t spoken in what, two or three years? Oikawa had accepted it, so why was he crying?Blame it on the alcohol.Yes. This is just the alcohol acting. The alcohol had decided to take over his mind and body. Oikawa was really fine. It was all the alcohol's fault. It was the alcohol’s fault for bringing him to the playground. It was the alcohol’s fault for making him cry.It was the alcohol’s fault that made Oikawa pick up his phone and dial Iwaizumi.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	I’m Sorry To Bother You

**Author's Note:**

> *slaps you with another fic* HI i just wrote this today so again it is very short but this one is a HURTFUL ONE!!! Seriously this hurt so badly to write i am so sorry to whoever stumbles upon this!
> 
> This fic is inspired by a song i wrote!! The song is equally as painful 😃
> 
> HOPE U ENJOY!! Or don’t it’s pretty sad HELP
> 
> Twitter: @sugarasuno

Oikawa said he didn’t need a cab. Matsukawa had offered to call him one, seeing how unbelievably drunk he was. But Oikawa insisted he’d walk home. His house was nearby, after all. Matsukawa let him be, but being a good friend, he wanted to make sure Oikawa was safe walking home drunk. It had been a long night.

A long, long night.

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride? Because if you get lost, I’ll already be fast asleep, dude. I won’t be able to come get you, just let me get you a ride.” Matsukawa said, concerned once again.

“Don’t even think about it,” Oikawa said. His words were slurred. “I’ll b’fine! I need to walk off the beer anyways. I know my way from here! Have a good night, my friend!”

Matsukawa still had the feeling of concern letting Oikawa walk home on his own, but he took Oikawa’s word for it.

And Oikawa just walked. He walked home silently, but his thoughts were loud enough to fill a stadium.

Oikawa’s mind was flooded with thoughts, memories. Things he couldn’t shake out of his overflowing brain. He would think about when he was still a kid, young and naive. How he would chase his sister on her bicycle, up and down their street. He remembered how he kept alien stickers all over his notebooks and notepads. He remembered chasing butterflies and moths with Iwaizumi in their backyard. Then he remembered when he was elementary, and he’d get in trouble by the teachers for wanting to stay outside more during recess. He remembered when he’d visit Iwaizumi’s class at lunch to split sandwiches and stories. Then he remembered how beautiful his high school experience was. He remembered doing well in classes, despite pouring all of his attention towards volleyball. He remembered being given the team captain title, and how honoured he was. He remembered how much Iwaizumi teased him for being so proud, but he really knew Iwaizumi was happy for him.

Iwaizumi…

How long has it been since they last talked?

Too long, Oikawa thought.

But Oikawa was too busy thinking about everything to focus on Iwaizumi alone. So he kept walking.

He walked until he stopped at a playground, five blocks away from his house. And he just sat. He was tired and filled with alcohol, so he sat. As he looked around the playground, the area came to memory more clearly. He and Iwaizumi used to play at this park every day after school when they were children. They would bring snacks and drinks, they would tell stories about the weirdest people they came across. Or they would just sit. And simply just sitting in silence was never awkward for them. They were comfortable around each other, accustomed to their routines, their moods, their habits. Everything was how it was supposed to be.

So then how did everything change so drastically?

“Oh.” Oikawa muttered, feeling tears leave his eyes. When did he start crying? Why was he crying? They haven’t spoken in what, two or three years? Oikawa had accepted it, so why was he crying?

Blame it on the alcohol.

Yes. This is just the alcohol acting. The alcohol had decided to take over his mind and body. Oikawa was really fine. It was all the alcohol's fault. It was the alcohol’s fault for bringing him to the playground. It was the alcohol’s fault for making him cry.

It was the alcohol’s fault that made Oikawa pick up his phone and dial Iwaizumi.

The phone rang. As Oikawa expected, no one picked up. He was about to put down the phone, but then he heard Iwaizumi’s voice message play.

[Hey, it's Iwaizumi Hajime. Sorry I missed your call, leave a message if you want me to get back to you. Thanks.]

Hearing Iwaizumi’s voice made his eyes well up even more. He didn’t even know if he could push out any words. He felt words build up behind his throat, almost choking him. Then he heard the tone play. Then he just started talking, and he found that he couldn’t stop. The words spilled out of him, mimicking his tears.

“Hey! Iwa-chan. It’s Tooru! S’been a while, huh? So, um, I know it’s four in the morning, but I was kind of looking for some help? I seem to be a bit lost,” He laughed into the phone. “I can’t seem to find my way home? I’ve had a bit to drink, you know that Matsukawa had his birthday party today! I really thought you would come, for old times sake! Anyways, I think I’m at the playground you and I used to always play at. When we were kids, you know? Where we would have picnics, make stupid jokes about people… I think you know what I’m talking about! So, um, if it’s not too much to ask, do you think you could drive me home? I don’t think I could afford walking home by myself in my current state! But don’t worry, I know how much you care about your car, so I’ll sit in the backseat to make sure I don’t hurl.”

He breathed for a second, feeling happy. Even though Iwaizumi was not on the other line, it felt like they were talking. It felt like Iwaizumi could respond in any second, scolding him for staying out so late.

But he wasn’t responding back to Oikawa. And he couldn’t scold him because of how late it already was.

Then Oikawa realized just how late four in the morning actually is.

“Oh, I just realized- you might be sleeping still. It is super late after all. Iwa-chan, so responsible as always! Anyways, I’m sorry I’ve bothered you with this lengthy message, sleep well!”

Oikawa hung up and put his phone down on the swing next to him. Hanging up made him feel an emptiness he had never felt before. The emptiness had always been there, but now it had dug a bigger hole in his heart. Oikawa felt his heart sink to his stomach, and he felt his lungs fill with his tears.

He couldn’t find a way to stop crying.

It’s that damn alcohol.

He couldn’t stop crying. His eyes kept pouring and he didn’t know how to stop it. Thinking about Iwaizumi never returning his call hurt his heart. The thought of Iwaizumi never talking to him again hurt his whole body. He felt sore everywhere. He felt like he’d just played three full sets of volleyball, and his lungs were going to shrivel up and die. Except this time, this type of hurt wasn’t caused by physical fatigue.

He was so tired of crying. He wanted to forget every memory he had ever made with Iwaizumi, if that was the cost to stop the pain he was feeling. He wished he had never met Iwaizumi, he wished he had never gotten so attached to Iwaizumi. He wished Iwaizumi wasn’t the perfect best friend to him for all those years. He wished that Iwaizumi didn’t mean everything to him.

He wished he had never fallen in love with his best friend, only for him to leave him so suddenly.

After minutes of crying and failed attempts to compose himself, he finally managed to get his breath under control. His eyes were almost swollen shut, and his face felt dry and tight. He knew he wasn’t yet sober, but he felt like he was. Almost as if he had cried all of the liquor out of his system. He didn’t know what to do next. All he did know was how tired he was, and how much he regretted leaving that sorry-ass voicemail. It only felt right to leave another message.

Oikawa rings Iwaizumi’s phone again. As expected, he doesn’t answer. Oikawa begins talking into his phone.

“Hey… Iwaizumi. I’m sorry for calling again at this hour, but I feel super embarrassed about the last message I left. I was obviously under the influence, so that made me act out of character. I just…” Oikawa breathed. He felt tears build up again. Like hell he was going to cry again.

“I don’t know, I… I haven’t been feeling like myself lately, you know? My brain is in shambles, I feel like it’s melting. My- my thoughts have been all over the place, but the one thing, the one thing I know for sure is how much I miss you.

“I miss you so goddamn much Iwaizumi, it hurts just thinking about you. It hurts so much, did you know that? Did you ever even consider my feelings? Did you even like me? I have respected your choice in shunning me out, I still do. I just- it just hurts, okay? I’m so tired of thinking that you might reach out to me, because deep down I know you won’t. I’m not expecting you to call me back or anything, so don’t feel compelled to. I just needed to get my thoughts out to you while I still have alcohol streaming through my veins. Don’t worry about me when you’re up, okay? I’m me, I would have found my own way home by now. I’m sorry again for wasting your time like this, I know you’ve got more important things going on. Sorry to bother you like this. Goodnight.”

Oikawa dropped his phone by his side. His head began throbbing, and he wanted nothing more but to go to sleep.

Oikawa believed he should have regretted spilling his emotions all on the table to Iwaizumi via voicemail, but there was no other option for him. No way in hell was he going to keep all of that bottled up forever. He was in love with him, he might still be. It was unfair to him that Iwaizumi called all the shots. It was unfair that Iwaizumi was allowed to just get up and leave without wondering how Oikawa felt. He wanted Iwaizumi to feel bad, but he loved Iwaizumi so much that he wouldn’t wish the pain he was feeling onto him. He wanted Iwaizumi to be happy, and if losing him in the process would help him achieve such happiness, Oikawa could learn to live without him.

He would learn how to play volleyball without expecting Iwaizumi to watch or cheer him on. Oikawa would get used to sending posts that he finds funny to someone else. He would travel abroad to many different places, without his right hand man by his side. He would have to tell stupid stories to someone else, and hopefully they’ll understand the humour of it all. He would learn to receive praise, without him behind his ear teasing him every chance he gets. He would have to get used to eating alone most of the time.  
He would eventually find someone else to fall in love with.

Someone who will stay.

Oikawa stood up front the swingset, almost falling from sitting for so long. His head continued pounding, and he felt the urge to throw up, but he kept it in. His eyes felt sore and heavy, vision still blurry. He coughed and almost let out a laugh of pity, dazed by the night he just had. He pulled out his phone one last time.

He moved onto calling a cab company to bring him home.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK U FOR READING AND I’M SORRY FOR HURTING U!!! I recommend reading fluff or my last fic i uploaded to feel better HELPPPPP


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